How to vent?

When I go through hard times (like I am now), it's hard for me to figure out the right way to vent my anger. I have heard of people having to punch pillows, scream at the top of their lungs, or some people drink. My problem is I don't know what option would best suit me.

Let's star with punching a pillow. This sounds perfectly fine. It allows me to be violent and yet hurt nobody at the same time. Actually now that I think about it, this process already has a problem. Nobody gets hurt. If I'm going to punch something then I want the punch to connect with something. Pillows leave no indication of any damage being done to it at all. I want something to be damaged! I'm in a bad mood! Maybe there's a marketing opportunity here? Breakable pillows! Pillows made specifically for people who need to take out their aggression. Nah, that will never work. Then you'd get the idiots who buy breakable pillows on accident and start sending them back and creating all kinds of restocking problems. Then I'd get frustrated and start breaking the breakable pillows I have in my warehouse and that would cause inventory inaccuracies. It's just a bad system all together. Who the hell though of this stupid "Breakable Pillow" idea?

Anyway, I could always try drinking. That could work. It's easy enough to get some booze. But that can lead to health problem. What is my liver goes bad? I now have hospital fees and medication! I already hate going to hospitals, so this won't help any. Besides, it's my liver! That's important. I mean I only have two. (Or is it kidneys? I always get those mixed up...oh god I hope it's not kidneys...) So now I have to get a replacement liver. Where do I get one of those? I'm 90% sure they don't sell anything like that at Wal-Mart. So this is no good.

And let's face it, screaming is just stupid. All is does is piss off the neighbors and not to mention you just look fucking goofy. Screaming is just one of those things that is best done in someone's face. Somebody who deserves it. Like the lady at the DMV who's giving you an attitude, like you're wasting her time. (Oh, sorry I asked you to do your job, how ridiculous of me.)

So I'm stuck. How do I get out my aggression? This is one that I don't have an answer for just yet. No clever ending, no witty lines, just a question. What do I do?